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“The person for you is someone who is secure in who they are and not intimidated by you being who you are,” says Nelson.“Sometimes people close off if they sense that you are not being your authentic self.” No need to hide your less cool, glamorous, or conventionally feminine or attractive qualities.The old ‘actions speak louder than words’ expression has stood the test of time because it’s valid: It may be less about what he or she says in those texts, and more about how often they send them.(Read: How often they’re thinking about you.) “You’re seeking to understand a person’s character, beliefs, and principles to determine whether he or she is a good fit with you and your values,” says Nelson.So if his words and behavior aren’t giving you a clear indication that he’s as into you as you are him, feel free to divest a bit.“I see many women investing too much without the other person earning or giving back the same kindness, appreciation, and attention,” says Nelson.

D., about what behaviors and attitudes can help single daters go from wishing they were in relationships to actually being in relationships.Who wants to be the one who always texts first or shows affection?That doesn’t bode well for how this person would behave as a partner, anyway.But really, what do your friends know better or more about this situation or relationship than you? You were there when he kissed you goodbye after the date or sleepover.If you’re feeling insecure and unsure whether a man you’re into returns your feelings, realize that obsessing about it isn’t helping the situation; it’s just making you paranoid and full of self-doubt—shitty feelings, indeed!

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